The Printer Packs

Callie and I were really progressing with our money making abilities. With two screens available, we were really cooking! More money than we had ever seen in either of our lives. Granted, both of us were raised in poor households, but profiting every month made everything worth it. Going in one month, coming out the next with more to have started to truly inspire us to continue to keep our acts together.

After about 4 months of this passing, between Callie and I, we were sitting on about $5,000, when the previous months when we were using, there was rarely ever much money staying in our pockets. We had always talked about putting our money to good use and do things that could make us sit on a good style of living. So we began to game plan.


I’ve seen a lot of movies over the years and I was always interested in living a wealthy person’s life. Well, what did the wealthy do, first thing, was they usually owned something. Whether it started with a small at home business, reselling goods, or what have you. It was hardly ever anything but owning a business though.

Callie and I wondered, how can we put both of ourminds into a single project or business, that could potentially grow slowly so we could move to the next level of wealth. We figured since we had $5,000, maybe the best thing to do was buy something worth a couple thousand, and use it to create more wealth. We had the ideas of buying a cheap car to use as a taxi, we thought about buying an ATM that we would lease to other people to use for a period, yet, we finally settled on buying an industrial printer.
industrial printer

Continue reading “The Printer Packs”

Moving Forward

To keep this light bright, Callie and I decided that we did not want to have to occupy our time doing jobs around town to receive money. Ever since discovering how the economic system worked, we had always known we did not want to be the people who were taken advantage by it by working for the man. We had always talked about getting money just to get away it all. All the talk, all of the B.S., all the mindlessness, all the stupidity. We felt like the world around us had fell apart and we fell into the whole it created as well. We decided, it  was time we work our way out.

Between us both, we had one desktop computer that we shared. We understand that in this day age, money can be made without even stepping outside of the house, and that is what we ideally wanted to do. Being social outcasts our entire life, we felt we would not integrate into society as seamlessly as we would like, so we decided that we should keep a screen between us and the rest of the world and work our way up from there.

Continue reading “Moving Forward”


The day Callie came home was the best day of my life. Callie had been gone for nearly a week at home which left me and my brain alone for a long time. Over this period, I had some very low days recalling the history of my life existence. I was not proud of anything I had done, my memories were few, and I felt like a waste of space. After being down on myself for a day, I convinced myself that I needed to stop using opiates and get my life better. The two days before Callie came back, I had been two days in on not using, I cleaned up the home we shared, and I did my best to make the place livable.

When Callie arrived, I told her of the past two days for me that I wasn’t using and I planned on changing the outlook of my life. For the first time in my life, I think my happiness radiated on her, which made her feel uplifted by my speech too. Callie had been a depressed person for just about the entirety of her life. Her father was murdered, she tried to kill herself, she is slightly disfigured, and these three things I know bore down on her everyday. But, for the first time since I have known her, I saw her tear up and cry. She didn’t say much while she was tearing up, but I comforted her throughout. And the moment that changed my life for ever was when she as hugging me as she cry, she whispered in my ear, “Me too.”


I knew what this implied. What she meant with those words were that she was done with drugs too. After high school, we went on a steep downward spiral towards the end line of our lives. We knew what these drugs were doing to our bodies. We knew what would happen if we continued to use and use. The life of her and I would be vastly cut short.

Heroin is a dangerous drug. It hooks people who take it incredibly. Once tried, the high from it felt as if if was the hand of Earth petting you as lie awake. The most comforting I felt were my highs. But there were too many lows that will come with it. Heroin will eat your body up from the inside and leave you a shell of your former self. It is highly addictive and is something that should never ever be thought of to try ever. The strength of the drug is too strong for many people to overcome. Too many people will spend their short lives addicted to it, and I’m glad Callie and I had decided against it.

The following week, Callie and I comforted each other through our withdrawals. They were tough, and they hurt very bad. We were chronic H users for a solid year where it would not just be using every day, it would be taking many many highs to our day, and nearly being in a haze our entire year on it. Because of the major chronic use, the withdrawals were fierce.

Callie and I made one another’s food, comforted one another, and did whatever we could to keep each sane of mind during this period. When I was feeling better and Callie was hurting, I began talking to her about what kind of goals I had in mind for the rest of life. I told Callie that in this day and age, with proper finances, proper state of mind, and proper living circumstances, there is not telling how long our generation of humans could go on to live. We both agreed that our education was poor, but we understood something many people did not. We understood the forces in charge, and what kind of mindset it takes to get wealthy so we could live long lives. I told Callie that I wanted to hustle everyday. Rather than spending the 100 hours a week that Callie and I were wasting, why don’t we put our minds together and spend that time being productive. We could eat right, workout, gain knowledge, work on our social skills, and especially raise funds. Callie and I had always talked about leaving the country and going up to live in some mountains somewhere, but we both knew that to get to that level, you need some sort of money, and we had none. As dirty welfare recipients, we were truly the scum of the earth not doing anything to contribute to society at that point. If we wanted to get out of this welfare receiving situation we, we would really have to put our mind together to figure out how to make something out of the nothing circumstance that we were in.

The Climb Out

Callie and I were using everyday in our pig-sty of a trailer home. We were alone the majority of the time, just with each other. The lifestyle was unhealthy, we were filthy regularly, we were talking crazy talk day in and day out, and we were both stuck in a pit of depression.

I saw my mom regularly, we used together. My grandmother still took care of her, but we were living in poisonous circumstances.

2 out of the 3 relationships I had with people were toxic for my health.

The year was 2008. I remember when we were in the midst of the economic collapse. Callie and I talked about this everyday. But, since we were always on the dope, we did not do too much to save our circumstances and improve our lives.

I thought about my life regularly up until this point. After getting through puberty, my hormonal brain wasn’t as erratic as it was at this point in my early 20’s. I thought about the choices I made throughout life that led me here. One thing that led me on the path upward was living in this trailer park, having contact with many people from vastly older generations. These people were not the healthiest bunch, but there were people who were in their mid-80’s who I occasionally spoke with. I though that at this point in my life, I may have only lived a quarter, a fifth, or even a sixth of my potential life so far, and I already got past the hardest part. Childhood is where people are developed, and I had so much more of my life to change who I was, there was no sense in continually damaging it.

dirty house

After what I told myself was my last dose, I began cleaning up the house at 6 am, and worked continually with some eating breaks until midnight. I did not use the next morning, the first time in months, and I got to work cleaning again. I hadn’t seen Callie in days, so there was no distraction for me at this point. The following day, I called an exterminator to fumigate the trailer. For the time being, I stayed in my neighbors car while the guys were at work. When I sat in this car for the next 8 hours, I truly contemplated my life and the next steps that will come before me. I was 2 days sober, the longest I had been in over a year. I was dealing with terrible withdrawal symptoms, but the positive outlook I had on life trumped most of the pain I was feeling from the withdrawal. I had decided I need to make an honest decision about where I wanted to go with my life and if I wanted to change who I was as a person.  Continue reading “The Climb Out”

Where My Life Headed

Early into my discovery of the true world, I was filled with rage. After the rage, I then became overcame with perpetual sadness. During my high school years, I was always a loner who had a friend in Callie. But even during all of the lonesome times, I was never actually too sad. I had not ever been depressed in my life, I just considered myself a different breed of human and I had accepted that. But, after digging deeper and deeper into the whole perspective of life, I realized how truly terrible some humans were.

The people who lead large groups but are in fact terrible people are not the ones who bothered me. The problem I had with the world as I came to know it understand was the mass of people being led through life having no clue what is going on outside of their own lives, and, when brought up, proceed to stick their heads in the sand. The people that decide to not listen, ignore, do nothing, defend, and proceed to do nothing and know nothing about the facts of the world were the ones that tore me apart. Casually trying to have discussions about the world, I was always met with abrupt “that’s not true,” or “that’s not how it is, you got it wrong.” I was much more obliged to be in a discussion who would argue against me rather than choose to ignore what I had presented them with. But, after overwhelmingly facing people who chose to ignore facts, that’s what killed me.

After deciding that this was the true fate of us all, that we would just be rats running on wheels, never really understanding what a human life was, I sunk into a cold depression. At home, my house was a mess. It was Grandma, Mom, and I. If you have ever seen a drug addicts home, whatever you are picturing, that is how ours looked. It was trashed, dishes unclean, and papers everywhere that you would walk. The papers were actually our path to walk on in the house so that we wouldn’t step on whatever lied around on the carpet. The environment was completely hazardous, we were all sick all of the time.

Callie never came over to my house, and we never really talked to each other about our problems, but we were always stressed about the realities of our situations. It didn’t come to a surprise with me that we both were living in rough circumstances. We began our journey to the wonderful realm of drugs. We had smoked cannabis with one another regularly since junior year of high school, and didn’t really consider that realm part of the drug life.

By senior year, my mother relapsed on heroin, and I started back up.

For the next few years of my life, my fear of living got in the way of any aspirations that I had formed in my childhood. Instead of facing the world and proceeding to live my life to the best of my abilities, I dropped out of high school, and moved out of my mom’s house to live at Callie’s trailer park. Her grandmother passed away during our junior year and this is where we began living our Senior Year. We were using heroin practically every day and adding to an even more unhealthy habit of staying put inside the house all day with just our minds and one another.

This was the hole at the center of my life. My mind was gone, I had no spirit, and my body began falling apart.

My Next Line of Thought

When Callie had told me everything, I didn’t know what to think.  Initially thoughts of betrayal ran through me.  I felt as if I was lied to my whole life.  I had this weird feeling like we lived in a big plastic bubble that was being controlled and manipulated by bigger interests.  It’s a very uncomfortable feeling to feel trapped like you can do nothing or say anything.  The last thing I could do was tell my teachers or bring it up in class, they didn’t have a clue either.
I remember asking Callie what could be done about this, and she came up with the same answer I had, nothing.  Upon further thought, maybe something could be done if you understood the rules of the game.  If you understand the rules of the game and the playbook you can become a big player.  Becoming a big player in the “game” isn’t always what people want, but few end up taking advantage of it.  I did some research just like Callie had done.  I will say getting educated on the world and how it works is always a good investment of your time.

Continue reading “My Next Line of Thought”