Onward

The day Callie came home was the best day of my life. Callie had been gone for nearly a week at home which left me and my brain alone for a long time. Over this period, I had some very low days recalling the history of my life existence. I was not proud of anything I had done, my memories were few, and I felt like a waste of space. After being down on myself for a day, I convinced myself that I needed to stop using opiates and get my life better. The two days before Callie came back, I had been two days in on not using, I cleaned up the home we shared, and I did my best to make the place livable.

When Callie arrived, I told her of the past two days for me that I wasn’t using and I planned on changing the outlook of my life. For the first time in my life, I think my happiness radiated on her, which made her feel uplifted by my speech too. Callie had been a depressed person for just about the entirety of her life. Her father was murdered, she tried to kill herself, she is slightly disfigured, and these three things I know bore down on her everyday. But, for the first time since I have known her, I saw her tear up and cry. She didn’t say much while she was tearing up, but I comforted her throughout. And the moment that changed my life for ever was when she as hugging me as she cry, she whispered in my ear, “Me too.”

 

I knew what this implied. What she meant with those words were that she was done with drugs too. After high school, we went on a steep downward spiral towards the end line of our lives. We knew what these drugs were doing to our bodies. We knew what would happen if we continued to use and use. The life of her and I would be vastly cut short.

Heroin is a dangerous drug. It hooks people who take it incredibly. Once tried, the high from it felt as if if was the hand of Earth petting you as lie awake. The most comforting I felt were my highs. But there were too many lows that will come with it. Heroin will eat your body up from the inside and leave you a shell of your former self. It is highly addictive and is something that should never ever be thought of to try ever. The strength of the drug is too strong for many people to overcome. Too many people will spend their short lives addicted to it, and I’m glad Callie and I had decided against it.

The following week, Callie and I comforted each other through our withdrawals. They were tough, and they hurt very bad. We were chronic H users for a solid year where it would not just be using every day, it would be taking many many highs to our day, and nearly being in a haze our entire year on it. Because of the major chronic use, the withdrawals were fierce.

Callie and I made one another’s food, comforted one another, and did whatever we could to keep each sane of mind during this period. When I was feeling better and Callie was hurting, I began talking to her about what kind of goals I had in mind for the rest of life. I told Callie that in this day and age, with proper finances, proper state of mind, and proper living circumstances, there is not telling how long our generation of humans could go on to live. We both agreed that our education was poor, but we understood something many people did not. We understood the forces in charge, and what kind of mindset it takes to get wealthy so we could live long lives. I told Callie that I wanted to hustle everyday. Rather than spending the 100 hours a week that Callie and I were wasting, why don’t we put our minds together and spend that time being productive. We could eat right, workout, gain knowledge, work on our social skills, and especially raise funds. Callie and I had always talked about leaving the country and going up to live in some mountains somewhere, but we both knew that to get to that level, you need some sort of money, and we had none. As dirty welfare recipients, we were truly the scum of the earth not doing anything to contribute to society at that point. If we wanted to get out of this welfare receiving situation we, we would really have to put our mind together to figure out how to make something out of the nothing circumstance that we were in.

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