My Next Line of Thought

When Callie had told me everything, I didn’t know what to think.  Initially thoughts of betrayal ran through me.  I felt as if I was lied to my whole life.  I had this weird feeling like we lived in a big plastic bubble that was being controlled and manipulated by bigger interests.  It’s a very uncomfortable feeling to feel trapped like you can do nothing or say anything.  The last thing I could do was tell my teachers or bring it up in class, they didn’t have a clue either.
I remember asking Callie what could be done about this, and she came up with the same answer I had, nothing.  Upon further thought, maybe something could be done if you understood the rules of the game.  If you understand the rules of the game and the playbook you can become a big player.  Becoming a big player in the “game” isn’t always what people want, but few end up taking advantage of it.  I did some research just like Callie had done.  I will say getting educated on the world and how it works is always a good investment of your time.

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Got Me Thinking

After I started becoming friends with Callie, we started to find out we had a lot in common. This was the first time I was able to actually have a connection with anyone other than my mother and grandmother because I have never actually take the time to talk to someone and find out what our commonalities were. I’m sure you are thinking, that I’m such a loner, it does not sound like I do much from the perspective of this blog so far, how could I have something in common with anyone? Well, Callie and I initially bonded off of being social outcasts. We talked about our lives up until that point, how few people we could refer to as friends we could name, and what we were doing with our time while we were not out hanging with our friends. For me, I told her about I would spend a lot of time thinking introspectively, and extrospectively. I would analyze other people, what made them go, what everyone else was thinking, what were everyone’s plans, what did everyone think was going on just outside of where thy were. I also spent a lot of time reading. Books, articles, newspapers, and especially, my favorite of all places, the internet.

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What Could Have Been

I’ll start this post of with a little introduction about myself, since this is for my post for this website.

cropped family

I didn’t have one of these kind of lives. With a mom, a dad, and a brother or sister, it was a lot less than that…

My name is Felicia, I am 28 years old. I am a recovering opiate addict. I am born of a single mother, who raised me along with my grandmother, who also was a single mother. My mother had me when she was 16, same age my grandmother had her. If you can’t tell already, life hasn’t been to kind for us. Growing up, I made my self into a social outcast. I purposefully stayed out of the way from other people with the belief that nobody would like who I was, because I didn’t like who I was. I felt my family were the only people who could love me. I didn’t have friends growing up, and I stayed away from people as often as I could. I rejected conversation and chose to stay in my own corner, with my own thoughts for the majority of my young life until I reached high school.

young kids

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